The Podcast List => Chonilla Podcast/Radio - #Chonilla => Topic started by: Sherasaurus on January 26, 2011, 12:03:46 AM
0095: I AM YOURS AND YOU ARE MINE 1-3 (http://www.chonilla.com/podcast/0095.php)
0096: I AM YOURS AND YOU ARE MINE 2-3 (http://www.chonilla.com/podcast/0096.php)
0097: I AM YOURS AND YOU ARE MINE 3-3 (http://www.chonilla.com/podcast/0097.php)
Thanks for answering my baby question. I was not expecting such a story! You two had my dying over here!
I definitely appreciate your candor in sharing such intimate details about your relationship on the podcast.
Your more than welcome Reef, we had a lot of fun with it.
Don't be shy and feel free to ask any question you like and we'll adress it best we can!
Excellent episode as usual! I agree 100% about the diagnosis of children and the assignment of mood altering medicines. My son went through a terribly bad patch in the summer of 2009 after visiting his father, to where he came back full of rage and so much anger. And as a single mother I just didn't know what to do to help him with his hurt-a lot of the folks who said they'd be there for him from the church had disappeared, so I took him to a therapist, who sent us to a psychiatrist, who prescribed medicine for him. It seemed to help for a bit but I just never felt comfortable with it, especially when the psychiatrist said he'd have to be on it til he was 13 (he was 8 when it was prescribed). When we moved to New York I weaned him off it, partly because he didn't like the idea of having to take it, and neither did I, but we got past his rough patch and he is doing infinitely better.
That's a big part of the reason I feel that we have so many kids at the university level that are all over the place-their young minds that were still developing were exposed to these drugs, and by the time they reach adult hood the way the brain should function has been interrupted by these chemicals.
I work for a manufacturer for two leading ADHD drugs, and its a constant battle because doctors still have the freedom to prescribe what they want, when they want, regardless of label. We spend so much time marketing to specific patient segments which we know our drugs work really well on, but then doctors can prescribe for patients outside of that group. If it doesn't work, or even worse causes significant adverse effects, guess who gets blamed :(
reefinyateef it is scary-at first they put my son on Zoloft, which worried me cause of the warnings. They did it because for a couple of years after my father was killed at work I was on it, so they assumed since it worked for me it would work for him. The problem was that I was 25 when I was prescribed that medicine, my son only 8 ???. He went nuts. He had such a dead affect, would do stuff that was absolutely outrageous (he stabbed a kid with a pencil and said he knew it was wrong, but did it anyway, all while sounding like a psychopath). The school called me and told me he needed to stop taking it because while he was angry before the Zoloft seemed to be making him downright sociopathic-doing things and just not caring about what he was doing. then they put him on Risperidone-they said he wasn't ADHD (he wasn't hyper and his grades never dropped), but he did have some anxiety issues based on what he went through with his father. It helped, but I was never comfortable with him being on that medicine for so long. In my mind if he couldn't figure out on his own as he grew how to manage his moods and his emotions. He was starting the beginning of puberty (hormone shifts)-I could tell by the fact that we had to start him on deodorant. If he doesn't learn to manage it without medicine he'd be useless as an adult (in my opinion). Weaning him off was easy because I got him involved in a pretty intense basketball league for kids this fall-the endorphins from the twice weekly practices and once a week game seem to supplement to removal of the drug. He's been off it for almost two months now and he's fine. He's got his typical issues in school (finding his place) and he's always been precocious, but it's not unnatural.
It should be illegal the way kids are prescribed psychiatric medicines in the US.
Wow, thanks for sharing Lashonda!
I'm glad to hear you went with what sounds like your instincts when it came to makinga descision on your son's health.
I think a lot of people think just because a person is a doctor that they may know more about your kids than you do... Bullshit I say!
This episode is good thus far, but I must point out that I want to be a king in my home. As a black male, in his 30s in the US. I have found that it's hard to get any respect in the household unless you seize power. I know it sounds crazy, but my fiancée and I have had to wrestle with the fact that we had no male influence in the home, which required some te to rebuild our family institution. When loud ass angry ass Monique talked about it, it seemed stupid b/c she usually says something stupid. But this time around she does make some sense. The "black" erican family institution is in such disarray that we have to resort to the extreme to get ourselves back on track. It has been engrained in the minds of black women that black men are tricksters, cheaters, untrustworthy, users who only like to have fun making babies, but don't have the backbone to take care of them.
Don't get me wrong the stereotypes go both ways. Social programming stereotypes have been horrible against black women too. The sad situation is that for men to have an established role in the home, they need to been seen as rulers, protectors, and providers.
This doesn't take away from a woman's power. Itjust provides structure. Everyone knows that a king is just a figure head. Women really control what men do, otherwise I'd be fine with living in a one room apartment with a hot plate and a video game system.
But my point is to say that if we want to bring Black relationships back into equal footing in the US, we will need to train our children to see a blackman as the head of th household again. Let's face it... Strippers have daddy issues, gang members are looking for a daddy to tell them what to do. Don't misinterpret me. I know that mom kicks butt too, but no one straightens out a teenager who thinks they're hot stuff like an angry father.
I would agree with you Mudslinger11, I feel weird about it because my perspective is white and am not familiar with the Black American household as a general institution. I was trying to address that feeling of this being such an extreme way of doing thing and I think I mentioned that there has to be some couples who can benefit from this extreme approach. As far as the stereotype that black men are tricksters, i think this is also engrained in white peoples minds.
You are right and I'm a firm believer that extreme circumstances require extreme measures.
I will re-address this on our upcoming show... thanks for the feedback!